Second Chances

Second Chances

The counsellor shuffled through the various forms on her desk. Forms that I had filled up not fifteen minutes ago.

"So, lets start from the beginning… This surely didn't just happen out of the blue…"

I nodded. "It did not. It started from day one…"

--------Flashback--------
It basically all started when he selected me to be his rider. The first thing he did was to point out every single observable flaw that I possessed. Not a single wrinkle or crease was spared. Some high expectations dragon he was. However, back then, I still had hopes that he would drop the high expectations eventually, when we got to know each other better…

It didn't take long for me to realise that that one hope was both unrealistic and in vain.

Don't get me wrong, he was one hell of a companion, minus the cutting remarks. He always tried to be the best he could in everything, and I followed suit… I guess my best wasn't enough.

This is because one thing about being bonded to someone else mentally is that you know when they mean something they say.

And he meant every damn thing he said to me.

Even if it hurt, and even when I pointed out that it was untrue. He never once apologised for anything.

At first, I just took it all, and just let it go. He was just being The High Expectations Dragon afterall. However, eventually, I began to fight back, especially when his remarks were inaccurate, or plain insulting. I argued with him often, and we often argued till late at night.

Yes, I know, we sound like a couple.

He said that once. But then again, he says a lot of things.

He had something to say about everything. Everything. From my grades to my choice of pen. From my decision to learn to drive to my studying style. HE even went so far as to accuse me of neglecting him.

Of course, it came to a point where I no longer cared what he said.

And to set the record straight, I did not neglect him, but that didn't stop him from forcing me to skip school to do pointless things with him. As much as I know the importance of the well-being of one's dragon, I also had to juggle my studies on top of that. It doesn't help that I'll be sitting for the national exams later this year.

Since its like 3 months to the exam, I'd obviously devote more time to my studies, and obviously he wasn't happy, which led to his decision to make me stay at home. Of course, this had repercussions. My grades are now shit. Out of my five subjects, I've only managed to pass two. TWO. I can't even get into the shittiest course in the shittiest university with that.

On top of that, the cutting remarks didn't stop. By then, I had more or less given up arguing. I would only say one line to set the record straight, then walk off. Why bother, you'd ask. Simple. As much as I was starting to dislike him, even hate him, I still cared about him and what he thought about me.

Though, of course, my now being in a counsellor's office just means that I completely stopped caring.

I snapped just a week before that.

He had made a very cutting remark about my intelligence, and how it had deteriorated and how my grades and inability to argue was a testament to that.

Ohh and cut it did. That particular remark bloody well burned, and it was the last damned straw.

Instead of saying anything, I found that I couldn't be bothered anymore.

I don't even know why he bothered to take an inferior piece of crap like me as a rider anyway.

Instead, I simply turned my back and walked off. He did shout something after me, but I'll be damned if I cared about what he had to say. For that matter, I found that his opinion of me no longer mattered either.

Of course, its not the first time I walked off on him. But usually, I would come back after having cooled down somewhere.

This time, I walked to the bus stop and caught a bus home. I knew that he would come after me sooner or later, but I simply didn't care.

I went home and looked around, looking for my notes, that had lain unused for a long time. It was time to study and at least salvage my grades. I dusted off the notes, which I hadn't had time to touch thanks to the dragon, and set them on the table.

I then grabbed a piece of rough paper and scribbled a note to him. Yes, he wasn't even worth a piece of foolscap paper to me now.

This is what I wrote:
"To the dragon:
It has come to my attention how unsatisfactory I have been to you as a rider, thus, I have come to make a decision. This is because on top of your dissatisfaction, I have grouses of my own. Ever since I accepted you, I have spent almost all my free time with you, and as a result, my grades have gone down the shitter. I have decided that it is in our mutual interest to terminate this relationship.
Signed, your ex-rider"

At the time I wrote this, I was so numb that I didn't feel anything. Not after all those insults and remarks. I simply wrote it and blocked my end of the bond off.

I pasted the note on the house gate and went back in to get my work done.

He only read it when I was in the middle of dinner. Of course, he kicked up a bloody big fuss.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!" He bellowed from outside.

"Precisely what is written there. Now get lost." I shouted from inside the house, not wanting to go out and look at his damn muzzle.

Of course, he wasn't going to let it go like that. He sat himself outside the house for two days straight, hoping that I would change my mind. He kept looking in my window while I was studying. I shut the curtains.

I just wanted him gone, and I still do.

Eventually, he gave up and left me alone, and I went back to school. It was the first time in months that I set foot on the campus, and I damn well felt like kissing the crumbling school buildings. My teachers were extremely surprised, for on record, I was on study leave for goodness knows how long.

All I told them that it was 'a long story that I don't want to talk about…' Most of the teachers got the message and left me alone.

Except my form teacher, who probably sensed that something was wrong. He is a nice guy, and he cares for his students I guess… He tried talking to me, but I kept my yap shut.

Of course, the dragon probably went back to the headquarters to get help.

So, the letter came, summoning me to go there for counselling sessions, and perhaps to mend the relationship.
-------end flashback---

"And so here I am." I finished, not noticing that tears had begun to roll down my face. I nearly choked on those words, as my mind pulled me back to the here and now.

The counsellor, a Miss Lim nodded and jotted down more notes. "So it was the remarks?"

"Yes. Obviously. I don't appreciate neither being called an idiot, nor having my life choices questioned even after heavy justification." I snapped, and immediately regretted my tone. It wasn't her fault.

She nodded. "I understand… Try to relax…" Her tone was comforting, and I tried to calm down.

"Can I go now?" was my only response. I just wanted to go home… I didn't want to talk about this in the first place, but I had decided to open up as I didn't want it hanging over me.

She shook her head. "Your dragon has been diagnosed with a rare behavoral disorder. That is why he kept making cutting remarks."

"That makes no sense. He meant what he said. If it was a disorder, he wouldn't have meant them. Besides, he isn't my problem anymore."

"That was part of the disorder. He ends up saying and doing things that he may not mean, but his thought process apparently convinces him that he does." She continued, ignoring the latter end of my remark.

I shruged. "And I should care because…?"

"He wants you back as his rider, and wants you to forgive him. He is currently undergoing therapy to remedy the disorder. He will be better in a few weeks and hopefully cured in a few months."

"pffft. I washed my hands of him a week ago. I'm not going back." Came my blunt reply as I got up, ready to leave.

"He said that he knew that you'd probably say something like that… That's why he is waiting outside to speak to you."

"Tell him not to bother. I have nothing to say to him, and have no intension of listening to what eh has to say."

"He was quite fixated on the idea. He's already outside…"

I shrugged. "Too bad. I'm not going to listen. Good day, Miss Lim."

I then walked out, with Miss Lim shaking her head sadly in her office…

I walked out the main doors and true enough, the dragon was waiting.

I just walked past him as if I didn't know him. In a sense, that was probably true.

"Wait! At least hear me out!"

I ignored him and walked on, while plugging in my earphones and putting on some loud music. It pretty much drowned out everything he said, strangely enough. Dragons did have voices that matched their size…

I knew that he was following me up to the end of the road in the compound and to the main gate. There, I got irritated. I took out the rider ID card that I had been given on day one and snapped it into two in front of him, and threw the pieces at him.

"It's over." I snapped coldly, a sense of finality in my tone, and walked out the gate.

I could hear his keening two blocks down, yet somehow or other, I couldn't get myself to care. Granted, some tiny part of me still wanted to go back and give him another chance, but that tiny part was quashed by the rest of my mind, under the memories of all those insults that I had been subject to, and all the things he had forced me to do. Voluntary or not, it didn't matter to me.

What's done is done. The damage had already been wrought.

I'll bloody well be damned before I go back.

But then again, I was damned childish to think that he would just give up like that.

I walked home to find him waiting outside the house. He looked practically distraught and kept looking up the road for me to stroll in…

The moment he saw me, he started talking again. "Look, I know that you're angry…"

I couldn't help but retort. "Angry?! ANGRY?! THAT'S THE BLOODY UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE BLOODY YEAR!"

He dipped his head, presumably in shame. " I…I..know… I'm sorry…"

"Are you deaf? I already told you, ITS OVER." I snapped, and pointed at a random direction away from the house. "Now get your sorry arse out of my sight before I do something really stupid."

He refused to budge. I just threw an exasperated sigh in his general direction and stomped past him, into the house. I stepped on his tail at some point, but I honestly couldn't care less. If anything, he's lucky that I didn't tap dance on that damned thing.

He tried to say something again, but I slammed the door in his muzzle before he could get a word out. Knowing that he knew how to open the door, I locked it as well. I returned to my room and slammed the windows shut and closed the curtains.

I then proceeded to bury myself in work to take my mind off the raging maelstrom of emotions I was experiencing.

His sincerity was painfully obvious, yet I just didn't want to have anything to do with him…

I made up my mind, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get anything done with this new thing hanging over me. I walked out, intending to speak to him, only to find that he was gone. Apparently my previous message had gotten across…

Then suddenly, I was airborne, in his claws.

Apparently not…

He placed me on his back, in my usual spot.

I was more shocked than anything, having been suddenly plucked off the ground like that. I wanted to say something, yet found that my voice had deserted me…

After a few minutes of silent flying, we landed on an island not far from the mainland. Of course, we haven't left the country. He had more sense than to cross the border.

He placed me gently on the ground and proceeded to lie in front of me.

All I could muster was "What the hell…?"

"It's the only way I can get you to listen…"

To that, I had no response, for it was the truth. I hadn't given him a chance to say his piece.

"I know that I said many very hurtful things to you before… and I apologise. I truly didn't mean any of it, and as you know, I'm undergoing treatment to ensure that it won't happen again… And for what it's worth, you are a very good rider, and I truly want you back… I know that I went too far with my demands in the past, and again, I apologise… So, please, give me another chance…"

I glanced behind him, at the mainland in the distance. "You're not giving me much of a choice."

"I'll still carry you back if you say no, and that will be the last you see of me…" He choked up as he spoke, and dipped his head, holding back tears…

I sighed. It pulled at even my heartstrings to see him like that… And to be honest, I didn't quite know what to do…

I ended up sitting there staring at him while mulling things over for what seemed like an eternity.

It struck me how beautiful his bronze scales looked as they sparkled in the late afternoon sun…

Eventually, soaked in perspiration thanks to the heat, I got up, having made a decision. The dragon in question, a certain Nozdormu, also known as Noz for short, had curled up quietly to one side, facing away from me.

I walked up to him and placed a hand on his side.

He blinked and looked at me. "You have reached a decision?"

I nodded. "You have your chance, but one step over the line, just one and out you go. Got it?"

He nodded quickly, and proceeded to knock me over with a caressing nudge. "Understood. I won't let that happen."

"Now, can we go back, it's so damn hot here…"

"But that's why it's nice!"

"For you, you oversized lizard. Not for me. Besides, I don't want to have you grumbling about my sweat later on…"

He snorted and picked me up. We then flew back to the house. There, I took a bath and went back to my books (I still had a lot of catching up to do). Of course, I soon realised that he really did feel neglected, for I spent a good three hours poring over notes for the various subjects, but at least he didn't say anything…

Instead, I packed up my things and proceeded to sit outside, and used one of the picnic tables in the front yard to do the work, while he lay next to me. At least now he didn't feel as lonely.

Eventually, he took an interest in what I was studying, and I ended up teaching him the subject, which sped my revision along by a lot, while keeping him occupied…

At least there was a feasible future for the two of us now…